I came back to work after a week away and this is what greets me:

If I press enter it displays the tty1 login prompt.
I have booted using a 12.04.2 Live USB and it seems to work fine, I`m using it to write this.
I have no idea where to start or what to look for. There are no USB devices attached, besides mouse and keyboard. The same message shows up if I disconnect both and reboot.
Either selecting a "previous linux version" on grub, or apt-get dist upgrade doesn't solve my issue.
Here's the content of Xorg.*.log files in /var/log: https://gist.github.com/anonymous/5613488
/var/log/Xorg.0.logvar/log/Xorg.0.logfor actual errors. If you have network, you can use something likepastebinitto post that online (it should be relatively safe but will probably contain your hostname) – Oli May 20 '13 at 14:23/var/log/Xorg.0.log? In this case, I'm pasting its contents now. – That Brazilian Guy May 20 '13 at 16:44