How much have I broken and should I just reinstall the OS?
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To answer my real question, uninstalling Python entirely broke the desktop. I was not even able to open text-only mode. I'm not sure how it remained functional for a while; maybe everything was cached. It is not necessary to reinstall the OS.
Following the advice of Timo, I booted in recovery mode following instructions in this tutorial: RecoveryMode. I enabled networking before opening the root shell. I was not able to get online over wifi; I had to use ethernet. Then I ran
sudo apt-get install ubuntu-desktop
sudo reboot
Now my desktop is fixed!

wjandrea
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michaelAdam
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2Installing the task rather than the (meta)package might work even better. – Eliah Kagan Sep 05 '14 at 01:58
sudo apt-get install ubuntu-desktop
– Timo Sep 04 '14 at 12:00