< Understanding Misbelief

Understanding Misbelief/Personality Is Not Destiny

—Understanding Personality and the "Big Five" Traits

Personality refers to our characteristic patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving.[1] Psychologists often describe personality using the five-factor model (also known as the Big Five traits)

In this model, each person falls somewhere on a continuum for five broad trait dimensions:

  • Openness to Experience – Imaginative, curious, and open-minded; drawn to new ideas and variety (whereas someone low in openness prefers routine and practical focus)
  • Conscientiousness – Organized, disciplined, and responsible; inclined to be goal-oriented (whereas someone low in conscientiousness might be more impulsive or disorganized)
  • Extraversion – Outgoing, sociable, and energized by social interaction (whereas a less extraverted person is reserved and quiet)
  • Agreeableness – Friendly, cooperative, and compassionate; inclined to be trusting and helpful (whereas someone less agreeable may be more suspicious or competitive)
  • Neuroticism – Prone to anxiety, emotional ups and downs, and stress (whereas someone low in neuroticism is calm, stable, and optimistic)

These Big Five traits give a useful overview of one’s personality tendencies. They influence how we might typically behave or feel. For example, an introvert (lower on extraversion) might prefer a quiet evening at home, while a high agreeableness person might avoid conflict. However, personality is not a rigid script for our lives. Traits can guide our inclinations, but they do not wholly define or limit what we are capable of doing.

Personality Influences, But Does Not Dictate, Our Lives

While personality traits have a significant influence on behavior, they do not have the final say in what we can achieve. Research indicates that our personalities are shaped about equally by our genes and by our environment and experiences​.

In other words, we may be born with certain leanings, but life circumstances, choices, and effort play a huge role in who we become. Just because someone has a naturally shy or cautious disposition at age 20 doesn’t mean they will remain the same at 40 or 60. Indeed, psychological studies have documented that personality can and does change gradually over time for many people.[2]

Someone might become more confident or more imaginative as they gain life experience, demonstrating that personality is a dynamic, not fixed, aspect of us.

Most importantly, personality is not destiny. As psychology professor Timothy Pychyl puts it, “Personality is not destiny; you can change those tendencies.”​[3]

No one is “sentenced” to their personality traits forever​. If you happen to be, say, low in conscientiousness (more on the laid-back, disorganized side), it might take extra effort to build good habits – but it’s entirely possible to do so. If you’re highly neurotic (prone to worry), you can still learn coping strategies to handle stress and lead a happy life. Our natural traits might set our starting point, but they do not determine our finish line.

In fact, people often act “out of character” when the situation or their goals require it – and this is a normal part of human adaptability. Psychologist Brian Little’s free trait theory[4] explains that individuals can step outside their personality comfort zone in pursuit of important objectives or core values.

For example, an introvert can behave like an extrovert when giving a presentation about work they care deeply about, or a highly agreeable (conflict-averse) person can assertively stand up for a loved one if the situation demands it. We can stretch beyond our baseline traits when motivated. This ability to adapt means that our behavior isn’t chained to our personality scores – we have the freedom to grow and change.

Real-Life Examples of Growth Beyond Personality

It’s inspiring to look at real-life examples of people who challenged their personality “molds” and succeeded. Here are a couple of illustrative cases that show personality is not destiny:

  • Quiet Introverts Excelling at Public Speaking: It’s a common assumption that only extroverts make great public speakers. Yet time and again, introverts have proven this assumption wrong. Some of the world’s most renowned public speakers and leaders – Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, Barack Obama, and Eleanor Roosevelt, to name a few – are often cited as natural introverts who nevertheless moved millions with their speeches​.

A striking modern example is investor Warren Buffett, who openly admits he used to be “terrified of public speaking” to the point of getting physically ill at the thought[5]

Buffett considered himself an introvert and avoided speaking in front of others for years. In his twenties, he realized this fear could hold back his career, so he enrolled in a Dale Carnegie public speaking course to push past his comfort zone

Through practice and determination, Buffett transformed this weakness into a strength. Today, the once-tongue-tied young man confidently addresses arenas of around 40,000 people at Berkshire Hathaway’s annual meetings

His journey from a shy, nervous individual to a famed public speaker and business leader exemplifies that initial personality traits (like introversion or anxiety) did not seal his fate – he adapted and grew beyond them.

  • Cultivating Curiosity in the Less Open-Minded: Openness to new experiences is another trait people often consider fixed – “I’m just not a curious person,” someone might say. But even individuals who aren’t naturally adventurous or curious can deliberately foster a sense of curiosity and broaden their horizons. For example, John Lloyd, a British television producer, found himself in a creative slump after a series of failures in his career. By his own account, Lloyd had been very set in his ways and was feeling depressed​.[6] Instead of giving up, he decided to actively change his approach: he took time off work to go on long walks and read voraciously on subjects he’d never explored before. He dove into topics like ancient Greek philosophy, physics, art, history – with no particular plan, simply following whatever sparked his interest​.

This habit of cultivated curiosity led him to develop a fresh idea: the BBC quiz show QI, beloved for its ability to find “anything—from quantum physics to Aztec architecture—entertaining.”

In other words, by exercising curiosity like a muscle, Lloyd turned a low-openness routine into an opportunity for innovation and success. His story shows that a person who once preferred the familiar and routine can become inquisitive and open to new experiences when they make a conscious effort. Psychologists echo this point: when you encounter something interesting, pause and explore it – treat the feeling of interest as a signal to learn more. As famed behaviorist B.F. Skinner advised, “When you run into something interesting, drop everything else and study it'.[6]

By embracing this mindset, anyone can train themselves to be more curious and open, regardless of where they started.

These examples are just the tip of the iceberg. In everyday life, you’ll find countless people defying their supposed personality limits. A naturally disorganized student might develop a system to stay on top of assignments and turn into a successful entrepreneur (proving that being low in conscientiousness at first didn’t stop them). A highly anxious person might learn meditation and coping skills to handle stress, then go on to thrive in a high-pressure career. A competitive, tough negotiator (low agreeableness) might discover the value of empathy and become an effective team mentor. Each of these scenarios highlights the same truth: personality influences behavior, but it does not imprison us. With effort, learning, and motivation, people routinely act outside of their default traits and even shift those traits over time.

Embracing Growth Beyond Personality

Understanding that personality is not destiny is a freeing realization. It means that while you might start with certain tendencies, you always have the capacity to grow, adapt, and surprise yourself. If you’ve ever taken a personality test and thought, “Well, this is just how I am, so I can’t do XYZ,” it’s time to rethink that assumption. Your introversion, impulsiveness, or cautiousness might describe you today, but it does not define what you can accomplish tomorrow. You can learn skills and behaviors that don’t come naturally at first. You can practice stepping out of your comfort zone in small ways, until those once-uncomfortable behaviors become part of your expanded repertoire.

In practical terms, believing that personality is not fate encourages a growth mindset. You might use your self-knowledge as a starting point (for instance, “I know I’m nervous about public speaking” or “I tend to avoid new things”), and then intentionally work on the areas you want to improve. Over time, the shy person becomes a confident communicator, the homebody becomes a world traveler, or the skeptic becomes a lifelong learner. We should respect our inborn traits – they are an important part of who we are – but we should also remember that human beings are remarkably adaptable.

In conclusion, personality influences our preferences and comfort zones, but it does not rigidly determine our destiny. We are more than any one label or trait score. By seeing personality as a starting palette rather than a finished painting, we empower ourselves to keep growing. So the next time you catch yourself thinking “I’m not the type of person who could do that,” pause and reconsider. With curiosity, effort, and an open mind, you just might prove yourself wrong – and write a new chapter that transcends the personality you thought you had. After all, personality is a guide, not a jailer – and each of us holds the key to becoming more than we ever imagined.

  1. ↑ ChatGPT generated this text (in deep research mode) responding to the prompt: “Write an essay with the title ‘Personality is not destiny’. Begin by briefly introducing the concept of personality and the five-factor model. Then give examples of people who are able to behave effectively in ways that are not limited by their personality types. Examples, among others, might include introverts who are able to present talks to large audiences, or people who are not open to experiences yet are effective in fostering curiosity and asking well-chosen questions to explore new ideas and experiences”.
  2. ↑ "How Personality Traits May Change Over Time | Psychology Today". www.psychologytoday.com. Retrieved 2025-03-26.
  3. ↑ "5 Ways to Get Your Energy and Motivation Back for Good". Good Housekeeping. 2024-04-02. Retrieved 2025-03-26.
  4. ↑ Personal Projects and Free Traits: Personality and Motivation Reconsidered, Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 2008, Dr. Brian R. Little.
  5. ↑ Breen, Amanda (2024-10-07). "Introvert Warren Buffett Reveals Secret to Public Speaking". Entrepreneur. Retrieved 2025-03-26.
  6. 1 2 "Seven Ways to Be More Curious | Psychology Today". www.psychologytoday.com. Retrieved 2025-03-26.
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