I solved this by adding a "Disk Usage" context menu entry to the folders in nautilus with "file manager actions" (package nautilus-extension-fma in ubuntu) that spawns the following script in a terminal to list the things I'm usually interested.
<rant>I absolutely can't find a reason why anyone would want to exclude hidden subfolders from the disk usage calculation. I mean, the only time I actually look at this is when I want to copy the folder somewhere and want to see if it still fits on the target drive. The other case is when I need to free some space. So, someone please give me even one good usage scenario where the size of hidden subfolders has to be excluded. This is just way too damn unintuitive imho.</rant>
~/.local/bin/disk-usage
#!/bin/bash
if ! tty -s; then
DISK_USAGE_SPAWNED_TERMINAL=1
gnome-terminal --title="Disk Usage" --window --wait -- "${BASH_SOURCE}" "${@}"
exit
fi
for path in "${@}"; do
du -h --one-file-system --max-depth 1 --time "${path}"
echo
done
if [ -n "${DISK_USAGE_SPAWNED_TERMINAL}" ]; then
echo -e "\n\e[33;1;32mPress enter to close the window\e[33;0;37m"
read xxx
fi
~/.local/share/file-manager/disk-usage.desktop
[Desktop Entry]
Type=Action
Name=Disk Usage
Profiles=Default;
[X-Action-Profile Default]
Exec=disk-usage %F
MimeTypes=inode/directory;